All-Scamming Eye

You want me to join the Illuminati? Sorry, I’m just not “intertested”…

Holy annuit coeptis, Batman! Them Illuminati fellers done want li’l ol’ ME to join ‘em! Join ‘em into what, I cannot say… presumably into one really BIG Illuminati. It’s best to not speculate too much on the undertakings of a Secret Society, however, since such societies don’t abide blabbermouths, tending to deal with them in secretive and no doubt unpleasant ways.

That said, the powers that be of this esteemed mystical organization have reached out to me, via email, and have invited me to become one of the illustrious Illuminati. Hey, why not, Mom always said I was a “bright” child! (ba doom tish).

We won’t get into why I’ve been chosen to enjoy the countless benefits of being part of “the world’s largest conglomerate” – must be the “strong technical and academic skills” I wish I actually had. Are they sure they’ve found the right person? Haven’t I (and you) seen a movie or two with this plot?

There’s another thing… I might end up feeling guilty about the wealth, power, fame, honor, cars, houses and substantial monthly income they’re offering me FREE access to. Yes, FREE, there’s no mention of any entrance fee so I guess their ain’t one. Groovy!

And no red flags! Well, maybe one: moving my cursor over the purported sender “Illuminati Great Brotherhood” revels the actual sender, servic @ ewisetaxservices . com

Hmm, I didn’t know the Illuminati did tax prep.

And oopsie, another red flag: They’ve asked me to “Kindly reply back if you are intertested”… that’s not a typo, at least not one of mine. Maybe it’s my proofreading skills that they’re after. All in all, I’d say my eagerness to join the Illuminati has noticeably (wait for it) dimmed.